Sarah Paulson Honors Diane Keaton By Sharing Hilarious Text Messages

Sarah Paulson honored her onetime co-star, and longtime friend, Diane Keaton, by apologizing for never clearing her voicemail inbox. 

Speaking at The Hollywood Reporter’s annual Women in Entertainment gala Wednesday, Dec. 3, Paulson shared a touching and funny tribute to the legendary actress, who died in October. Paulson and Keaton first met when they were co-stars in the 1999 movie The Older Sister and remained close over the years, with Paulson offering a glimpse into their friendship by sharing a bunch of text messages Keaton had sent her.

The texts were classically Keaton: Equally warm and acerbic, kind and playfully combative. Most of all, they revealed Keaton was constantly annoyed about her inability to leave Paulson a voicemail. 

“Sarah, I hate your phone. It is always full and I can never leave a message,” read one text, while in another Keaton proclaimed: “As usual, your voicemail is full. What makes you so fucking popular?” In a particularly lengthy diatribe, the actress quipped, “Look, I’ve had it with your phone machine. I’ve tried calling you so many times, it’s creepy. I’ve tried both numbers I have and I can never get a chance to relay what I want to say. Every time I try to call you, I’m rejected. Do you have some secret phone number?”

Even when Keaton was praising her friend, she couldn’t help but bring up the voicemail problem. After celebrating Paulson’s performance in a movie — “Your acting was great and you look beautiful” — she pointedly added, “I tried to leave a message, but as usual, your voicemail was full. As usual, I called, as usual, your mailbox is full. As usual, I don’t want to write a message.”

In other, non-voicemail related texts, Keaton lamented losing track of an email Paulson had sent her (“Don’t ask what I did. I’m a loser from way back”); griped about their profession (“We are so fortunate. Do you love being an actress? I don’t.”); and praised Paulson’s partner Holland Taylor as “a force, totally charming, unique,” before telling Paulson herself: “You, on the other hand, you are a numbskull. It’s sad, you had so much potential.” 

After reading the texts, Paulson shared an email she wished she was able to send Keaton now: “Dear Dum-Dum, I wanna tell you I’m sorry my voicemail was always full. I want to tell you I’m sorry I wasn’t available by the time you called. I want to tell you how much crummier the world is without you in it. I want to tell you everything that happened in my life in the 54 days since you left. I want to tell you how the world lost its mind with grief the day you died. And I want to tell you, I will miss you forever and I continue to be a moron, and I know that you would be heartened to know that. But most of all, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being my friend, Sarah Paulson.”